A Story of Moving From Two Sides – His Perspective

How do you make a tough decision to move?

My wife Melanie and I wanted to write this and the following post together.  The post is how to make a tough move easier.  We each will take our turn, this post is David’s perspective. 

Deciding To Move

Months preceding the decision the pressure would build.  My wife, Melanie, and I would go for long walks and discuss what we should do.  We knew through comments made from my boss that the company wanted us to move again.  This time about 1,000 miles from Destin, Florida to the corporate headquarters in Kansas.  I had in over a decade and a half with the company and enjoyed my role.  Moving would mean another promotion and all its benefits but this wasn’t the first time we were faced with this decision.

We had moved from Wisconsin to Florida to open up a new office four years earlier.  The startup was a great success. A phenomenal team was built after we came to Destin by faith not knowing anyone.  We started in Florida on a cardboard desk with 1 laptop and the office grew to 10 staff and a $10M contribution per year to the company. But it was also one of the most difficult personal decisions we had ever made together.  Both our families, support structure, and grandparents to our three girls were in Wisconsin when we moved 22 hours away to Destin.

Now, four years later it looked like it may happen all over again. We had great friends in Florida.  We were very involved in ministry.  I wondered how a move would affect our girls?  How would it affect our marriage?  How would it affect our extended family?  What would happen to the team?  On what basis should we make this decision to move or not move?  How should we make this decision?

How To Make Tough Decisions

How do you make the toughest decisions in life?  It seems that every few years we are faced with extraordinarily tough decisions.  Perhaps you are too.  Tough decisions seem to have equally weighted benefits and costs making the path forward uncertain.

Barry Perez, leader of Harvestime Ministries gave me this advice as I asked him how I decide between two very difficult paths.  He said to use the analogy of the “The Three Harbor Lights” to make tough decisions.  It guided me through the decision to move.

There are lights along the channel as a ship comes into harbor. If the ship is on course the lights will line up behind one another and appear to be one. If you see multiple lights, you’re off target. The ship’s captain will then re-position the ship so that the lights appear to be one. In decision-making, if we can get “three lights” lining up, we may in fact know God’s will for our decision.  Below are the three lights to line up when weighing your tough decision.  If they line up you may be on target with your direction:

The Light of God’s Word.  Your decision should not contradict God’s Word or His promises.  If the decision involves a change that would make you compromise your integrity, your faith, or your obedience to the Lord it may be an indication it is not the right decision.

The Light of the Holy Spirit.  Your decision should have a peace or excitement within you. This is an indication of your inner witness from the Holy Spirit.

The Light of Circumstances.  The circumstances of your life should point to the need for the decision. God will work through us and speak to us through our circumstances.

Lining up your decision with these three lights may help you identify what is the right decision for you and your family. Do these three lights make sense to you?  Have you based a decision upon “The Three Lights”.

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